Shopping hazards..3..2..1.

Hello my darlings,

I wanna address the issue of people being shopping hazards.

Nothing can be more unpleasant than coming across inconsiderate shoppers who make you want to do very unpleasant things to them. Here's my Shopping Hazard Top 3 Countdown....

Shopping hazard 3: The women with the big shopping bags

Yea sure I get it, you're splurging, having a great time, but being hit by your bags because you expect everyone to move out of your way - makes me want to do very unpleasant things to you. I've been scratched numerous times by the sharp edges of those fancy paper bags. To these women: It really ISN'T all about you.

Shopping hazard 2: The women with the redundant boyfriend/husband

Why do women bring their boyfriends or husbands to a sale?! Where's the logic in that? Ok, maaaaybe he handles the expenses and you need him to foot the bill - then get him to join you at the cashier. Don't drag your husband or boyfriend around the sale like he's your pet. We don't even have enough space to move about in a sale, last thing we need is someone redundant hanging around.

Shopping hazard 1: Attention seeking, noisy biatches

Really darlings, no one wants to know how you feel about a certain piece of clothing, bag or pair of shoes. NO ONE. So when you and your girlfriends start bitching or raving about something, keep it to yourselves. This means the following - no screaming, no screeching, no jumping or hopping about on the spot.

Silence is gold, shopping in peace and enjoying the ambient music is part of the shopping experience. Already, having to deal with the shoving and snatching isn't pleasant, the last thing any sane shopper wants is a screeching airhead or bunch of them.

I think I really need to reiterate this (since it's at the top of my list) - NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK.

Disclaimer: These opinions are personal, general and for the sake of entertainment. They are not meant to offend anybody, just meant to highlight issues that need to be addressed.