Money can't buy taste; the Subway nuts

Have you ever come across people who spend a lot of money buying expensive clothes and accessories and they're dressed like crap?
Well, I was at the recent TANGS sale, queuing up to pay for a bunch of lingerie and in front of me, was a middle aged couple. The guy was dressed in an over-sized t-shirt, that was faded pale blue and it had the words "Boss Hugo Boss" printed across his chest. He paired it with a pair of brown and black plaid bermudas and ugly man-sandals. His wife was dressed in a woven, cotton, sleeveless top with a soft collar, it was a faded navy blue, clearly looked old, and it was paired with a pair of once-were-white bermudas. Both their hair was disheveled and they both wore glasses. This couple actually bought $640 worth of clothes!
Hello?! If you can spend 640 bucks on shopping, why the hell are you dressed like that? Just where do you wear your nice clothes? As people say, money can't buy taste.
And check this out, I had dinner at Subway, and now they have this new meal, the healthy alternative to the cookies and soft drink combo: A bottle of water and yogurt or a packet of nuts. On the packet of nuts, there was a warning sticker saying "This product contains nuts". Thanks, I really didn't know that. Thanks for warning me, cause I have a deadly allergic reaction to nuts and I was just about to have this potent packet of nuts, but I had no idea there were nuts inside. Thanks for warning me.

Walk with your legs closed

So, i was checking out Iluma and as I was walking across the bridge from Iluma to Bugis Junction, I saw a beautiful chinese lady with her boyfriend. She wore a red, tube dress, had long silky hair, she was slim and quite tall....But why did she have to walk like she just got off a horse?! The truth is, it's not uncommon to come across Singaporean women who can't walk properly - with or without heels. Actually, much worse with heels. They walk with their legs apart and most of the time, look like they're struggling to balance on their heels. Thing is, they might look absolutely gorgeous but the way they walk just kills the look. I'm not saying they should strut. But sista, walk with your legs CLOSED!- The Shopping Biatch

The ugly & rude sales girls vs The nonchalant ones

You know what rrreally kills my shopping mood? Bad service and rude sales girls. I don't even know where to begin! Singapore's malls are plagued with rude sales girls. From the angry sighs when you ask them to bring you that 4th pair of shoes to try, to the rolling of eyes and the blatant bitching in chinese, right in front of you, ABOUT YOU, just for the most minute annoyance you might have caused them (they forget that their job is to not be annoyed in front of you).

And right now! A very recent, real life example: I was at a shoe shop at the Iluma today, and I had asked to try a size 38 for all the three pairs of shoes I was interested in. It turned out that the size was too small for me (although I always wear size 38) and when I turned one of the shoes over to check the size printed on the sole, it had a "7" printed on it. So, I told the sale girl nicely "This is a size 7, it's too small for me, I want to try a 38." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought size 38 was size 8? That orange haired biatch, whose name started with a V, told me brusquely, "Sai terti aye is sai seven." So I apologized and told her to bring me the two pairs I liked most, out of the three I had in front of me, in a size 39. After trying them in size 39, I decided to buy them, so I walked over to the cashier to pay for them. She placed the shoes back in their boxes and put them on the cashier counter. Her colleague then asked her in chinese, "Whose shoes are these?" And the orange haired biatch replied loudly in Mandarin, right in front of me, "They're for (her chin pointing in my direction) that crazy woman. That crazy woman who doesn't even know that size 38 is a size seven" WTH? I gave her a long, fiery stare. If only it was enough to set her orange hair on fire. It already looked like it was on fire, or was destroyed by a fire, so it wouldn't make a difference!

So, with that aside, my previous post was about pushy sales girls. Now I'd like to address the nonchalant, "Oh whatever" sales girls. You can find this rare type at Topshop. Service there is slow and the sales reps, basically, do not give a damn about you. Ask them to bring you something and they'll disappear, to only re-appear five minutes later. Ask them for something and they will agree to help you in a very nonchalant and unfriendly manner. Oooh, I get it. You work in Topshop. You're just too good to serve me. Or is your policy "We aim not to serve".

I once did a personal experiment, on how superficial sales girls are. I went shopping, dressed very casually, in ripped jeans and a plain spaghetti strap top and I wore flip flops. I then set out to Orchard to shop. I went to the smaller boutiques in Wisma Atria. The sales girls sized me up and were extremely unhelpful and unfriendly. To make the experiment right, I had to do the other extreme. So, the next time I went shopping, I was dressed to the nines. I went back to the same shops at Wisma Atria and you have no idea how much better the sales girls treated me.

RUDE OR NONCHALANT SALES GIRLS! Can't live with em, and I CAN live without em! If you're a sales girl reading this, hopefully, the next time you decide to "misbehave", think about how you'd feel if you were the customer. I'm sure you shop too?

The Shopping Biatch....OUT!

GUESS shoes & pushy sales women

GUESS shoes are killer shoes, they-kill-my-feet. They put me through torture. They're the kinda shoes, you can't walk in for more than 200 meters. I have three pairs: Sky high heels, platform flip flops and leather flats with pointy fronts. I keep buying GUESS shoes because they are just so nice, I just can't resist. But I think, after my third one I realized, that all those giant, bleeding blisters were just not worth it. I'm not rich, I walk around a lot, and those shoes weren't made for walkin. Maybe I'll consider them again in the future when I can afford a car.

And wussup with pushy sales women?! All Singaporean women out there, who love shopping (which s'porean woman doesn't anyway?), will understand this plight! These sales women don't just leave you at the "Ha-loh..Weow-come" greeting at the door, but the moment you start browsin, she's there, at your back, watching you, following you from rack to rack! And randomly saying, as you touch a random piece of clothing on the rack "That one have three colors"...alright thanks, I nod and smile acknowledging. And then I take two steps front and I hear that voice again "This one new arriver, got 20 per cen discown.." and then I see a nice one I wanna take off the rack to have a better look, so I take it off and there she was, waiting faithfully, standing behind me. She had been following me around since I entered the shop, "WAN TO TRY?!!" "Erm, no it's ok, just looking." I walk to the mirror, holding the top in front of me, trying to envision myself in it, before deciding if I'd like to try it or not..and there she was again, right beside me, lookin at the mirror, at me, "Veri nice. This one veri nice. Very suit you, we have also pink and blue." I respond with a, "I see, ok." And walk back to the rack to return the top. I touch another one, and there comes the voice...... A-G-A-I-N, "WAN TO TRY?!!" OH MY LORD! NO I don't! But I want to try telling you to find another job! Cause you're not fun to shop with sista!

There are some shops, where the clothes are nice, but the sales women are way too pushy. They put me off those shops forever!

And all those times, I tried clothes, and I ended up not wanting to buy them. Oh that pissed off look on their faces! Do they not understand the concept of "good service will bring you return customers"?

I've had it! From now on, I'll go shopping wearing a bitch face, so no one bothers me. Or go to those shops with no pushy sales women. I'm an independent shopper, I want to be left alone. If I need your help, I will ask for help. I leave right away once I start rolling my eyes, for fear that things MIGHT get ugly.

Ta my love, THE SHOPPING BIATCH.

Beautiful woman at the food court - HANDS!

A while back, I was at the food court at the basement of Takashimaya, having lunch before shopping, when I saw an extremely beautiful woman. She was so beautiful, she caught my eye right away and I couldn't take my eyes off her. After admiring her for a while, I looked at her body. “Great figure.... She looks great.” I thought to myself. And then I saw her HANDS! They were wrinkly, and they looked dried, with fat veins popping out! Lady! If you can spend all that money on all those botox and collagen injections, and to have your hair done at expensive hair salons to maintain that amazing mane on your head, can't you just chip in a little more to do something about those hands to complete the look?!

Ugly shirt; the Nudibranch hits the fast fashion market

I walked past Topman at Bugis Junction on Sunday and saw a t-shirt on sale. It was black with a print of the skeletal structure of the chest and hips on it. Seriously, with a print like that, it's NO WONDER it's on sale! Designers, you should think twice about your designs, if it's gonna hurt you to see your stuff on the “up to 50% off” sale rack.

Also, for those of you who dive and know about the underwater creatures, then I'm sure you're aware of the Nudibranch. Guess what? Apparently, the Nudibranch was the inspiration for Dorothy Perkins' latest fall/winter collection. Walk past the Dorothy Perkins display window at Bugis Junction and you'll see it riiiiiiiiight there, in the form of a predominantly white dress with a black line along the edges of both Nudibranch-looking sleeves. Looks like the Nudibranch has made it's mark in the fast fashion market. I present to you, a picture that is so strikingly similar to the dress - you can't miss it after seeing this pic. (source: http://www.photec.co.uk/13%20White%20ruffled%20nudibranch.jpg) More shopping bitching tomorrow. Ta my dears - Love, The Shopping Biatch.